The Khaki Brigade
It's a strange phenomenon... They may be lurking in your neighborhood... Be careful and watch out for the Khaki Brigade!
This is my story.
A few months ago (while still unemployed) I began noticing these people walking around, cutting through the common area behind my building. I thought "Great, now what are these people selling?" They had clipboards and and one or two of them had these red rope like things around their neck, maybe holding an id tag. I couldn't tell. Then a few minutes went by and no knock on my door. I have to admit that at first I was thinking, what did they see me smoking out on my deck and decide I wasn't good enough to sell something to? Or was it Doc growling at them (a sure sign something is not right) that made them skip my apartment?
So, I go about my unemployed business that day and then what do you know? They're walking around again. Just two guys with their red rope things and clipboards and the standard KHAKI shorts.
Well, this starts happening everyday. Guys in khaki shorts walking back and forth with clipboards. What the??? Normally I wouldn't have noticed except for Doc freaks out when he sees them. I don't blame him. I mean how many pairs of khaki shorts can you wear in a week? And I know its not just me that they're not selling something too. In fact, they're not peddling anything in my complex. So, where are they walking back and forth to? And what the hell is up with the clipboards?
Then there are suddenly girls walking with these guys. My first thought was that they must be running some sort of young brothel type deal out of two different apartments. You know the guys with the clipboards are the pimps and the girls are set up in another apartment to sell their "merchandise." But then on a nice Sunday afternoon people started to congregate around one of the picnic tables in the common area. And I noticed something about these Khaki Brigade people; they all dress in a hip conservative manner and seem well, lame. So, I figured they must be some kind of churchie folk. Like a group of young 'uns (ok so they seem fresh out of college age) holding picnics and floating between apartments praising the Lord. I think I would have preferred the brothel. At least that is a little more exciting.
Anyways, they have no held three picnics and at the last one they opted to bring bigger tables. Oooo. No music, no carrying on. Just men and like 3 women in khaki wear and some men in black pants, white shirts and ties (never a good thing to see on a Sunday) sitting out there barbequing and driving my dog nuts. Its funny though cause I think some of them are from Utah (I wasn't snooping I just saw their license plate). So that got me to thinking that maybe they are some churchie left wing mormon polygamists. Hmmm…. A younger breed taking over?
I know what you are thinking. Kris, you've completely lost it. You've turned into one of those old people that yell if you get to close to their porch. Well, I'm not off my rocker… yet. I just get annoyed at the fact that they walk around between apartments all day (annoying my dog), dressed in their conservative abercrombie khaki-ness with the CLIPBOARDS and I can't figure out why. And I think they are all afraid of my apartment since Adam and I are usually sitting on the deck smoking and I'm sure we have that sinner look. Usually when I am outside with the dog and one or usually at least two come by they seem to avoid me. And no, it is not because of the dog. He is totally friendly outside. I think its because I'm usually in my pjs smoking… looking somewhat like an addict of some sort.
So, you better watch out for the sneaky Khaki Brigade. They seem to spread fast with their picnics of khaki-ness. And who knows what they are really up to? Hmmm….